Outlander The Wedding
by Shropslass
Summary: It is Jamie and Claire's wedding night. Claire feels a mix of emotions, such as guilt, but also desire. She feels that she is pretending to be something she is not and Jamie's lack of experience both amuses and confounds her.
1. Chapter 1

The Wedding.

Claire can hear the men's voices as she sits before the fire in the chamber. She drinks deeply, partly out of nervousness, but also out of guilt. She looks into Jamie's bright eyes in the light of the fire as he smiles at her and tries not to think of Frank and another night such as this. She will not think of that. She clinks her glass against his and toasts their marriage.

"To us," she says lightly, taking another sip of the sweet, strong liquor.

"To us."

They have been talking for hours and although it has been nice getting to know Jamie, she is only putting off the inevitable. He appears relaxed and patient, but she knows that soon enough he will want to lie with her on the bed. She cannot delay forever.

"So," she says a little tipsily, "why did you agree to marry me?"

"I didn't have much choice in the matter and I am not betrothed to any other lass."

"No? I thought you were with Laoghaire."

"No," Jamie says, chuckling softly. "Although I think she would like me to be."

Claire studies him, thinking of how she had seen him kissing Laoghaire in the corridor outside her room. Was he as innocent as he said?

"And there have been no other women?" she asks, emboldened by the alcohol.

Jamie looks embarrassed and Claire is almost sorry that she asked.

"If you mean am I experienced in such matters, then as I told you I am not. Although it is all bravado and swagger among the men, I personally wanted to wait until my wedding night to lie with a woman."

Claire nods, thinking about what lay ahead. How it would be to lie with man who is a virgin?

"I have been tempted, I won't deny it," he says quietly.

His is an attractive man. His hair looks soft and she wonders what it would feel like to run her fingers thought it. His shoulders are broad beneath the white shirt, open at the neck. Suddenly she feels hot and trembles slightly, the glass shaking as she lifts it to her lips. If he notices he doesn't comment.

"It's getting late," she says standing and smoothing down her dress.

She feels his eyes on her, full of desire. She feels powerful and experienced compared to him. She moves her hands up to the laces on her bodice, wondering how long it will take to remove all the corsets.

"Let me help you," he says standing also and holding out his hand.

She takes it, lowering her eyes almost bashfully. She feels that she is playing a game, pretending to be something she is not. The chaste bride on her wedding night. She longs to feel his mouth on hers, his arms around her. She cannot tell him that she desires him as much as he desires her.

She turns, and he starts to unlace her dress, then helps her take off her underskirt. He removes the lace collar from around her neck and lightly touches her skin. His hands are warm and gentle. She tries not to breath, but in doing so finds herself breathing more deeply, unable to hide her growing excitement. She feels his hands on her shoulders, caressing her skin, turning her around to face him. She is amazed at his self-control, almost like she is a beautiful, fragile creature, too delicate to be touched by a man. He loosens the laces on the front of her dress and she is aware of her chest rising and falling quickly, the sound of her own breathing as he quickly pulls the cloth away from her body. He looks at her as she stands before him in the flimsy gown and now at last she can hear his breath, as he traces her collar bone with his thumb. He moves his hand downwards to the opening in the material and moves it inside. He frowns slightly as he touches her, his lips parted now as he moves closer. She feels his hand upon her as he strokes her, a look of concentration on his face. He gazes into her eyes.

"My turn," she says.

He waits for a moment as she moves back. He looks surprised as she unbuckles his belt. It hits the floor with a clatter. He gasps and pulls her against him, kissing her passionately, holding her body against his. Now at last, she thinks, he cannot wait any longer. He turns her away from him, almost roughly, pulling up her gown, so that she feels the cool air on her nakedness. He kisses her neck and she leans back against him as he fumbles with the buttons on his trousers. She turns around to face him, realising what he intends to do.

"No not like that," she says, almost laughing.

He pauses for a moment, a look of confusion on his face. Then before she has time to protest, he pushes her down on the bed, breathing heavily, pressing down, his full weight upon her.

"Jamie?" she says, trying to get his attention, "you're crushing me."

He adjusts his position slightly, but he cannot stop. She closes her eyes, feeling the sweet well of ecstasy begin to build, wrapping her legs around his body as he moves. Then suddenly, he groans and it is all over.

He rolls away from her and she lies quietly looking up at the ceiling, feeling frustrated as he breaths deeply beside her. She looks over at him as he laughs to himself and tells her that he thought that it was done a different way, like a stallion with a mare.

"Is that why you turned me around?" she asks, laughing softly.

"Aye," he laughs, and she likes the sound of his deep chuckle as he turns towards her.

When he stops, he asks seriously,

"Did you like it? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, you didn't hurt me."

"The others, last night, they told me that women don't like it. They were full of advice about what I should do. I'm glad I didn't listen to any of it!"

"What did they say?"

"That I should woo you, make you feel relaxed, then quick before you changed your mind, hold you down and force myself upon you."

"Did they really say that?"

"Aye and they were serious about it."

"I feel sorry for their wives, no wonder that they think women don't like it, I'm not surprised when they have to put up with that."

"And you? Did you like it?"

She regards him silently, wishing that she can lie and say that she didn't, if only to make herself feel better.

"Yes, I did, Jamie. I liked it a lot."

He looks relieved.

"But it will get better with time," she says, in case he thinks that he has mastered it already.

"We can try again in a minute if you like," he says enthusiastically.

She laughs again, thinking how like a boy he is, not a man at all, but she turns and kisses him softly.

"That would be nice," she says.

"I want to please you."

"You do."

"But first," he says, sitting up and looking towards the door, "I need something to eat to build up my strength."

"I'll go," she says.

"No," he holds her shoulders to prevent her from getting up. "I don't want the men to see you."

"I'll be ok."

"No, you'll do as I say."

Claire isn't used to a man speaking to her like this but is sends a thrill through her body. He is master here. He kisses her lightly and smiles.

She watches as he pulls on his trousers and turns to leave. She doesn't want him to go.

"Jamie?"

He turns back to look at her.

"Hurry back."

"I will lass."


	2. Chapter 2

I thought my heart would burst.

"To us."

Jamie taps his cup against Claire's, loving the tilt of her chin as she smiles at him. He has never been this close to a woman before, certainly not one who is dressed in as little as her. He tries to keep his eyes on her face, but he looks downwards, taking in her curves beneath the soft, clinging material. He wants her again, but he talks to distract himself.

"I thought at the wedding that if you kissed me like that maybe you weren't so sorry to be marrying me."

Claire trails her hand down his sleeve to his hand and takes it gently in hers. The faintest touch and he want to push her back onto the bed again. She smiles at him, but he stares back at her like a hungry wolf. He can't help it.

"Stand up," she says, much to his surprise. "And take off your shirt."

He frowns, not used to being ordered about by a woman, but he does what she says. There is something about her manner and it's not just her experience. He trusts her, knows that she wants the best for him.

"I want to look at you."

He is embarrassed as he pulls the shirt over his head and stands before her naked. He feels her eyes flick down his body, resisting the urge to cover himself and his obvious arousal. Unperturbed, she walks around him, touching him lightly and he knows that she is looking at him in a way he has never been looked at before, like an object of desire. Again, he thinks what little he knows about women; their wants, their needs. When at last she stands before him again, it is all he can do not to grab her to him and kiss her.

"Well then," he says, playing her game. "It's your turn now. Let me see you."

Slowly she undoes the ribbon at her breast and pulls the robe from her shoulders until she stands before him naked. He has never seen a naked woman so close to him before. There have been dancers at bawdy castle affairs, and once a flame haired beauty who tried to tempt him when he was younger, but this is different.

He reaches out his hand and touches her, feeling her soft skin. So much softer than his. She takes his hand and holds it against her. He kisses her deeply and she breaths his name as he picks her up easily and swings her around onto the bed. She moans as he pushes her down and she wraps her legs around him. It is different this time. It is slower, more measured. She calls out and he doesn't know whether it is in pleasure or pain. He is afraid that he is hurting her, but he can't stop. The feeling builds, stronger and harder, as she moves beneath him, her head tilted back, her cries echoed by his.

"I'm sorry," he says as she clings to him. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't."

"I didn't realise it could be like that for a woman."

She smiles as he rolls off her.

"It depends on the man."

Jamie feels pleased. Is she saying that he is good at this?

She bites his skin playfully.

"Ahhh!"

Claire laughs.

"Don't you like it?"

"I'm not sure."

She carries on and he is aware of her tongue on his belly and he shivers slightly. He looks down at her dark head nervously and wonders when she will stop. She looks up at him mischievously. Surely she's not going to - - ?

Jamie closes his eyes. No time has passed at all, but he feels his desire returning. He feels like he is locked into a private battle with her. He wants to be in charge, but in every way, she is more knowledgeable and more expert.

"Please," he begs, "don't."

Claire looks up at him with a puzzled expression.

"How can you do that?" he asks. "Isn't it unpleasant?"

"Don't you want me to?"

"No, it's not that."

How can he explain? Women aren't supposed to do things like that, they're not supposed to enjoy that part of a man's anatomy. Are they?

"It's ok," she says. "I won't do it if you don't want me to."

She moves up next to him. He stays on his back looking up at the beamed ceiling. Now he feels disappointed and he wishes that he'd let her continue. She snuggles into him and he puts his arm around her.

"I thought my heart would burst," he says as if that explains it.

Claire doesn't speak but hugs him closer. He knows that there will be time to discover more, to understand this beautiful woman, but for now, he will wait.


	3. Chapter 3

Two rings. Two men.

Jamie lifts the pearls from his bag and gently puts them around Claire's neck. She touches them and looks up at him quizzically.

"They were my mothers and now they are yours."

The pearls are milky white against her skin as she looks at them.

"You are my wife, so you must have them now."

Claire turns and kisses him on the shoulder tentatively, then she touches his hair and face, her fingers soft like a bird's wings. She feels the heaviness of the beads as they hang between her breasts. She kisses him on the mouth, thinking how strange it is that he never uses his tongue. He kisses her gently then leans back to look at her in the pearls, his eyes taking her in greedily. As he sits there, Claire moves on top of him, entwining her fingers in his hair. He holds her firmly to him as she moves slowly, a look of concentration on his face. His eyes half close in pleasure, then he smiles. She smiles back at him and he leans back on his hands. She feels in control now, leading him in an unhurried dance. He opens his mouth and breaths deeply, eyes closed. Claire tries to stay in the moment, but again, she feels like she is acting, this moment in time, this place, it seems so unbelievable, like a strange fairy tale or a dream. This man, this beautiful man, is he real?

"Claire - -" he breaths, making her return to the present as he leans towards her.

She puts her hands around his neck as he shudders, feeling the muscles in his throat constrict.

Afterwards, he dresses quickly saying,

"I'm famished, I must get something to eat before I'm forced to take a bite out of you."

"I think you already have."

"Aye and I will again if you'll let me."

He kisses her briefly then walks to the door.

Claire picks up her wedding dress from the floor and as she does so her old wedding ring from Frank slips out and bounces on the floor. She watches it roll towards a gap in the floor boards then get caught. She kneels and puts it onto her right ring finger and stares at it. The wedding ring from Jamie is on her left hand. She holds her hands up in front of her face and looks at the two rings, side by side. Two rings. Two men. One life, but two different worlds. What she feels for Jamie feels so real, so passionate. She did not know that it was possible to feel such desire for a man. It is almost like they were made for each other and that she was fated to travel back in time to find him. But as she stares at the rings, she remembers the vows she made to Frank, 'til death us do part' and wonders if this feeling of guilt will ever go away. She loves Frank, but she loves Jamie too.

Sighing, she turns towards the door, knowing that she is waiting for Jamie to return. His love-making satisfies a need in her in a way that Frank never could. She loves to feel Jamie's muscular, manly body beneath her, enjoys giving him pleasure. He makes her feel like she is all woman, designed for him to love her and to love him in return.

No matter what adventures await them, she will stay with him for as long as she can.


	4. Chapter 4

Craigh Na Dun.

The mist hangs gently over the moors as Claire sits close to Jamie and holds his hand. He looks at her intensely, his eyes full of concern.

"Is it often like this between a man and a woman?"

"What do you mean?"

"When we lie together, is it always like that?"

Claire hesitates. She feels guilty and for a moment she considers lying to him, telling him that it _is_ usual to feel that intensity, but she stops. Doesn't Jamie deserve to know the truth? That when she is with him, it is like she dissolves into him, his flesh becomes hers and his body responds so knowingly it is like an intimate dance that they have always known. Jamie's hair hangs damply around his face in curls as he stares at her and she knows that she cannot deceive him.

"No, it is different between us, I can't explain, but when I am with you I - -"

At that moment an arrow lands close by to them, sticking out of the wet grass. Jamie holds Claire close to him, protecting her in his arms, but it is only Hugh Monroe who claims that he can help Jamie prove his innocence.

"I don't know if I can trust him," Jamie tells Claire afterwards.

That night, sitting with his men as they tell bawdy stories in the firelight, Claire puts her hands between Jamie's as he rubs them. She wishes that they were alone so that she could lie with him beneath his cloak and feel his strong arms around her like before. She knows that Jamie feels as frustrated as she does, the way he looks at her in the flickering light, his eyes full of desire. She grasps his thumb between her fingers and puts it into her mouth staring at him all the while. He groans and pulls away.

"Please stop it woman, am I not tormented enough?"

In the morning, he takes her hand and leads her to a sheltered place behind a hill, away from the prying eyes of his men.

"I told them we needed to pick more herbs," he laughs pushing her almost roughly to the ground.

He kisses her passionately, freeing her from her tight bodice so that the cool air makes her gasp, but he quickly warms her with his hands, then kisses her there. He is all eagerness and cannot wait. She wraps her legs around him, their breathing matched, slower now, he moves in perfect harmony with her.

"I feel like a God when I'm inside you Claire," he whispers. Then bashfully he says, "Now I feel foolish."

She buries her hands into his hair and laughs as much in ecstasy as in happiness.

"You are a fool."

"Then I must punish you for saying that."

This is no punishment, she thinks as he holds her wrists above her head, pinning her down. She wants him as much as he wants her. His breath is just gasps as he tries to kiss her and she pretends to turn away. He holds her head firmly between his hands and kisses her full on the lips. This time she lets him.

Behind them, they hear the click of a gun. They freeze. When Jamie is pulled away from her, she tries to cover herself with her hands, but it is too late. The Red Coat laughs harshly.

"I'd like a piece of that."

Jamie struggles but the other soldier has his gun thrust under Jamie's chin.

"Would you like to watch, you Scottish scum? I'll have your slut moaning for more."

"No!" Jamie yells but the gun is pressed harder into his chin.

Then it is all a blur as Claire grabs her knife and thrusts. As the knife enters the soldier's flesh it makes a sickening sound. She tries to blank it out as Jamie helps her up and carries her away.

"I'm so sorry," Jamie says, "I should have protected you."

Claire shivers and lets him hold her close to him, away from the bodies of the dead men. She doesn't remember getting on her horse or riding away. The trees and the woods are all a haze, a tangled mess of green. They stop in a clearing and Jamie tells Claire to wait there for his return. She doesn't feel safe.

"How do I know you'll return?" she asks.

"Because I promise," he says earnestly.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I swear I'll be back, but you must promise to stay here."

She will not promise. The trees feel alien and sinister to her, all sense of security is gone, and she wants to be with Jamie, but he won't let her. When he leaves, she looks around her, remembering her plan to make her way back to the standing stones, to try to get back to her husband Frank. The forest seems strangely familiar as she waits. Soon however, tormented by images of the Red Coat she killed, she starts to walk along the path. Through the trees she glimpses Craigh Na Dun. She can't believe it. That was where it all began. So much has happened since then.

If only Jamie had waited for her, protected her, she wouldn't be here now, tempted by memories of her past life with Frank. She still feels like she is in shock and leans against a tree to stare up towards Craigh Na Dun. It is almost like the stones are calling to her. The wind rustles through the leaves eerily. As she moves forwards again it is like invisible hands pull her towards the stones. She breaks into a run.

"Frank!" she calls, "I'm coming! Wait for me!"


End file.
